Ariana Grande Doesn’t Need To Label Her Sexuality, And Neither Do You

The singer recently revealed that she likes women and men. That’s the only label she needs, and she’s far from alone.

As one of the world’s most famous and beloved pop stars, Ariana’s Grande’s personal relationships with cisgender men have been a huge focus of tabloid and Twitter fodder for years (see: BDE). They’ve also been fodder for her biggest hits; in “thank u, next,” she highlights her most recent exes, who happen to be famous men.

Still, in the age of 𝑠e𝑥ual fluidity, making assumptions about someone’s identity based on their current partner or partners is a faulty default. And assuming Grande was straight (as many did) was just that until Monday, when she dropped “Monopoly,” a new song alongside her best friend and close collaborator Victoria Monét. In it, both artists infer that they’re queer, with one line effectively addressing their interest in both 𝑠e𝑥es: “I like women and men (yeah).”

Grande’s rabid fan base (which includes a sizable LGBTQ+ contingent) began tweeting about the stanza almost immediately. “Ariana ain’t gotta label herself, but she said what she said,” one fan wrote, to which Grande responded, “i haven’t before and still don’t feel the need to now which is okay.”

It all begs the question: Is Ariana Grande queer? She didn’t say that, specifically, but she didn’t not say it, either. Which might seem confusing, but makes perfect sense, especially given current trends surrounding 𝑠e𝑥ual identity. At 25, Grande is part of a generation that no longer utilizes labels in the same way as previous ones. A 2016 survey conducted by consumer insight agency J. Walter Thompson Innovation Group found that only 48 percent of Generation Z (to which Grande belongs) identifies as “completely hetero𝑠e𝑥ual.” An even more recent study from the University of Connecticut found that young people are more likely to eschew non-traditional labels like gay, lesbian, or bi𝑠e𝑥ual, instead drawn towards identities like pan𝑠e𝑥uality or eschewing labels altogether.

“Labeling someone puts us at risk of ignoring the multitude of variables that play a part in 𝑠e𝑥ual identity development,” writes Julia Sadusky of the Sexuality Institute. “Sexual behavior and experiences, 𝑠e𝑥ual attractions and how to make sense of them, and 𝑠e𝑥ual identity labels and their meaning are distinct and they all matter. To base identity solely on current strength of attractions, especially for the youth, may not be helpful. Each person is a person to be engaged with, supported, and listened to rather than isolated, labeled, and spoken at.”

But labels are also useful; after all, they help us to find one another and create community. Even the use of more umbrella terms like “queer” or “LGBTQ+” are often necessary for our community to see themselves represented and reflected. When we visit or move to a new city and are looking to meet others like us, there are key words or phrases that we can use to help identify ourselves, and while those can be both specific and/or broad, it’s hard to Google “no label” and find our queer community. That, of course, does not mean people like Grande aren’t invited to the party; it just indicates that we have to find something suitable to use in an all-encompassing matter.

Asking individuals to “prove” their fluidity or queer interests (whether romantic and/or 𝑠e𝑥ual) is highly problematic and hurtful, moreso than any kind of “deceit” those asking for the proof might believe is at play.

Grande is far from the only public figure to eschew traditional LGBTQ+ labels; celebrities like Gina Rodriguez, Zoe Saldana, and Game of Thrones star Sophie Turner have spoken on record about being open to love, regardless of one’s gender. When public figures identity themselves as such but have long-term relationships with cisgender men, though, it can lead some to believe it’s a cop out of sorts — an idea borne from the same biphobia that has plagued the concept of 𝑠e𝑥ual fluidity for eons. Asking individuals to “prove” their fluidity or queer interests (whether romantic and/or 𝑠e𝑥ual) is highly problematic and hurtful, moreso than any kind of “deceit” those asking for the proof might believe is at play.

Whenever someone of Grande’s stature comes out after being in the public eye for a long time, one may wonder: why the wait? A similar conversation surrounded Rita Ora’s single “Girls” last year, featuring Cardi B, Charli XCX, and Bebe Rexha on a track that, while praising 𝑠e𝑥ual fluidity, also featured lyrics that inferred that they’d need red wine to kiss girls. It paralleled the narrative of Katy Perry’s hit song “I Kissed a Girl,” in which Perry alleged that female 𝑠e𝑥ual fluidity was simply something to try on and discard, and not to be taken seriously. (“Girls” was also co-written with three men, a fact that wasn’t lost on the queer community.)

But Grande isn’t marketing a song about her 𝑠e𝑥uality in the same way. “Monopoly” is instead about authenticity and success, self-preservation and perseverance — and should a partner come into play, well, she’s not just checking for men. She’s flagging her 𝑠e𝑥uality in a way that she has been recently, perhaps in more subtle manners. Grande enlisted her friend Troye Sivan to make a joke about her being “a lesbian” in her “thank you, next” music video. And in her most recent music video for “Break Up With Your Girlfriend,” she pulled a switch by the end that had her going in for a kiss with the titular girlfriend versus the guy that was her assumed target. (That prompted some critics to ask whether Grande was queerbaiting, including on this website, and an assumption Grande assuaged on Monday with her new song.)

Earlier this year, Grande was announced as a headlining performer at Manchester Pride, which sparked criticism online that an (assumedly!) straight performer shouldn’t receive top billing at an event meant to celebrate the queer community. Grande responded, in part: “The lgbtq community has been so special to me and supportive throughout my career. the relationships i have with lgbtq fans, friends, and family make me so happy. i want to celebrate and support this community regardless of my identity or how people label me.”

Because truly, Grande has never said she was straight. It’s just been assumed based on her high-profile relationships with men, which we should know by now does not indicate anything about someone’s identity. Openly bi𝑠e𝑥ual and otherwise queer-identified celebrities like Halsey, Lauren Jauregui, Amber Heard, Miley Cyrus, and Evan Rachel Wood have offered much-needed visibility and discourse around 𝑠e𝑥ual identity, and as a hugely successful artist who has long been seen as pro-LGBTQ+, Grande should be a welcome addition.

So feel free to throw “Monopoly” on your Pride playlist. Grande has identified herself as family, and that’s all the confirmation that we should need.