Garth Brooks took the stage at his Nashville bar, “Friends in Low Places,” like he does on a lot of nights when he’s in town. There’s not much of a crowd, as the bar suffers from being directly branded by a guy nobody wants around anymore.
“Still,” said Brooks, “It’s mine. I get to play whatever I want; whenever I want.”
He made the point last night when people in the crowd shouted requests to play a tribute to Toby Keith. “He was a MAGA weirdo who drank the Kool-Aid and used tragedies like 9/11 to build his brand,” said a guy sitting at the bar who looked suspiciously like Jon Bon Jovi, “But that’s not why Garth wouldn’t play any Toby.
“I don’t know any,” Brooks told us in a candid interview we can’t confirm actually happened for legal reasons, “I would have belted out one of those rah rah give me another drink and God bless the troops if I knew one. I don’t bother with shitty music most of the time. It’s why I refuse to play most of my own stuff, too.”
ALLOD Entertainment Editorializer Tara Newhole said that last bit is indicative of yet another one of “those figments of Flagg’s imagination,” but that I had covered my tracks so well that she’s having a hard time proving it.
“I just can’t figure out who you’re talking to,” she cried, “I’ve seen you have full conversations with the wall next to your desk.”
In my defense, patriots, I have a picture of a Boston Terrier with a top hat taking a picture with one of those old-school cameras with the flash powder over there and it brings me inspiration. God Bless America.
NOTE: This is SATIRE, it’s not true
